I listen to people and treat people the way I want to be treated. I imagine myself as someone who desperately need some talks, and I want someone respond me as I listen to them.
Most times i didn’t receive the same treatment, but that’s fine. That’s life. That’s human.
In a nutshell, here’s what I learned from most people I’ve ever met about listening
- They think world revolves only around them. In other words; self-centered. When we talk about our family for instance, they do not reply or ask about our topics, but it just reminisce them about their life. See. “People listen to reply”. Our talks only recalling their past. They don’t even want to know our story. So they cut the conversation by talking about theirselves.
- They do not care. There’s a sparks when they talk. Look so delightful. But when it is our turn, the sparks gone. Their eyes on the phone, only respond by: really? hhmm? ya? then? Im sure 89% they don’t even listen.
And this is how I try to listen even i know i might not a good listener either:
- Look right into their eyes. Not on the phone. It’s irritating.
- Confirmation. I repeat their story by my words. Ask whether what I understand from their story is what they really feel.
- Do not talk about ourselves. I put them as ‘the main character’ and I also imagine if I were in their shoes. I recalling my past and experience that related to that BUT I don’t talk about my life, I talk about how I feel about it (and so they are), and how I respond to that issues (as suggestion for them).
Well I also have bad behavior in terms of this listening-topic.
- I can smell rejection and I know when people didn’t interested in me. I will easily cut my words in the middle my story, pretend like I didn’t talk at all. This is also how to prove whether they’re listening or not.
- I am not gonna talking about myself unless I trust you (that you’re listening and not judging).
- Well, the last one is so difficult and that’s why I write
like Lady Gaga said,
Nothing you say wouldn’t interest me
All of your words are like poems to me
It would be honored if you would take me as I am
( u sing u lose lol)